How DARE She?

You know I hardly ever pay attention to ANYTHING that little Ms. Goody Two Shoes Meadow has to say, let alone do I ever take the time to respond, but enough is enough!

Let me set the scene for you. I was relaxing after my 23rd show enjoying a Pumpkin Spice Muffin Bath when my phone started ringing off the hook. Apparently people were calling about some feud I had with some random celebrity… or at least that’s what I thought they were calling about.

Turns out MEADOW had the nerve to call me a “wacktress” and they wanted to know my response. How DARE she?!!! Well in case I wasn’t loud in clear in the papers, here is my formal retort to Meadow:

First off, let’s look at who the REAL WACKTRESS is. It wasn’t me that bombed in To Kill A Cat Burglar. It was you Meadow, YOU! Forget the cat burglar, most people wanted to kill THEMSELVES after being exposed to your banal acting. I’ve never seen such dry, stiff, and unfortunate theatrics in my life… except for MAYBE Kristen Stewart in Twilight.

And as for Dangerous Curves getting “rave reviews” as you say, let’s be honest. Playing a less emotional version of yourself is NOT true talent.

Lastly, I’d just like to say MEADOW, as for your former co-star Dash who you seem to be obsessed with? Been there done that honey. You’re not his type.